


Fight Back

by StoriwrYNos



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Boys In Love, Comfort, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear, Fear of Death, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Headcanon, Homophobia, Hopeful Ending, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Love, M/M, Pain, Panic Attacks, Protective Callum, Short, Unseen Aftermath, Worry, ballum - Freeform, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 08:35:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19808635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoriwrYNos/pseuds/StoriwrYNos
Summary: Callum finds out the morning after Pride that Ben has been attacked and needs to see for himself that Ben is ok.





	Fight Back

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm really late on the bandwagon here but I've been really busy so this is the first opportunity I've had to write in a while. Ironically, this fic has turned out nothing like the headcanon I had going on (maybe I'll write that one at some point too?) and just became it's own thing entirely while I was writing it but either way, I was desperate for a longer interaction between Ben and Callum after Ben was attacked. 
> 
> Trigger warning for discussions of violence, specifically a homophobic attack and a minor panic attack.

“What happened?” Callum was breathless when he asked the question. Although demanding an answer would be a better description of his words. Ben looked him up and down once with an exhausted look on his face, almost as if he was asking himself if Callum was worth the hassle. Then, he seemed to make up his mind and slowly moved aside so that Callum could walk through the front door. 

It was lunchtime, the day after the Pride celebrations in the square although Callum had only been up for about half an hour. While everyone else had been celebrating, Callum had tried to find ways of covering his clear devastation. He’d told Whit that he was tired, that he had drank too much, that he had not drank enough. Thankfully, Whitney seemed tipsily drunk enough not to notice his erratic behaviour. Long after the party had finished, they had stumbled home and Callum had got Whit into bed before lying down next to her sleeping form and crying silently to himself as he begged anyone or anything that might be out there so stop his thoughts from wondering to Ben Mitchell. 

The morning after the night before, Callum had been woken up by Whitney busying around in the living room. He had stumbled out of bed, trying to forget, rather than remember everything that had happened the night before. 

“Morning.” Despite everything, the smile on Whitney’s face had made Callum smile too. He had meant it when he told Stuart that he loved her and seeing her happy meant everything to him. But he couldn’t make himself want her the way he should. Couldn’t love her in a way that would make everything alright. Why did one love have to be better than the others? 

Quickly, though, Whitney’s face dropped. “Ben got attacked last night. How disgusting is that? Everyone enjoying pride and celebrating and someone beat him up in the arches.” Callum had barely heard Whitney’s assessment of the situation. As soon as he heard the words ‘Ben got attacked’ the sound of his own racing heartbeat filled his ears. 

“Is he alright?” He asked, but he was already dashing back into the bedroom to throw some clothes on. 

“How would I know?” He half heard Whitney call back as he pulled on jeans a shirt and some shoes at random. With that, he was back out into the living room. 

“Look I’m gonna pop out for coffee.” He had told her, not even caring that his lie was so blatantly obvious. Hopefully, she would assume that he was going to check up on a mate and that he thought she would try and stop him from butting in. He didn’t give her a chance to say anything, though, as he rushed out of the flat and into the street. 

That was why he was so out of breath when he reached Ben’s. He didn’t even consider whether anyone would be home until he knocked on the door. Everything inside him had just screamed that he needed to see Ben with his own two eyes to know what he was alright. Now that he had seen him, he had to be honest, he still wasn’t sure. 

Anyway, Ben’s back was now walking away from him, so he rushed inside and shut the door behind him. 

“To answer your question, a homophobe happened. At my party as well.” Although Ben’s words were his usual snide, sarcastic comments, his tone held none of his faux not bothered attitude and instead sounded tired and fed up. 

Callum rounded the corner into the living room and saw Ben easing his painful way onto the sofa. At the door, Callum had seen the mess of Ben’s face: the beginning of two black eyes, the split lip and bruised jaw and he hated to think what else Ben’s clothing might be hiding. 

Almost subconsciously, he cast a look around the living room to see if anyone else was in. 

“There’s no one else here if you’re worried about being outed.” Ben said, again with that tired tone and when Callum’s faze returned to the other man he saw that he hadn’t even cocked his eyebrow. 

“Sorry.” Callum said softly, meaning it. Sorry for barging into Ben’s house and making a bad situation worse. Sorry that Ben had been mercilessly attacked. Sorry that he couldn’t be the person Ben wanted him to be. Sorry that he couldn’t be the person he wanted to be. 

“Is that a confession?” Ben asked, but when Callum looked down he was not looking at him. In confusion, Callum narrowed his eyes. It was a confession of sorts, he thought, but he wasn’t sure what Ben was implying. 

“How d’you mean?” 

In response to the question, Ben took a deep breath as if he was preparing himself. Then, he turned around with a tensing of his shoulders to face Callum.  
“Did you ask him to do it?” He finally asked, softly as though he hoped that Callum might not even hear the question. But Callum did hear. Immediately, his mind started buzzing. What the hell? Ben thought he would what? Ask some random guy to beat Ben up for him? How would that even work? Did people even do that, just go and beat people up because you asked them to? Ben couldn’t possibly think that Callum would pay someone to go after him could he? Could he? 

“You think I’d send someone to beat you up?” He asked finally, mouth remaining open a little in surprise after he had asked the question. Although he hadn’t given Ben an answer, Ben’s shoulders sagged a little as if in relief and he laid his head back against the top of the sofa. 

“That’s alright then.” He said with closed eyes. Callum watched him with growing confusion. Did Ben have a concussion? What was happening right now? 

“Have you been to the hospital?” Was the only thing he could think to ask. Maybe the hospital had told Ben he had a concussion. 

“Nah mate, you know me. First aid kit and some alcohol, that’s all I need.” In some way, shape or form, Callum’s previous confusion seemed to have taken some strain off of Ben as there was some of his usual cockiness back in his voice. 

“What did you use to clean the wounds then?” Callum asked. He knew that he was playing into Ben’s trap of flirting with him by insinuating that Ben had drank the alcohol but today he was more than ready to give Ben what he wanted. Plus, after feeling like a fraud for the last few days he needed the warmth in his stomach that came whenever Ben flirted with him. 

“Ahh, clever.” Ben clicked his tongue and made to wink at Callum. The movement was stopped as he winced in pain. Almost in unison, Callum winced too. It really did hurt him, he realised, to see Ben in pain. He wished that instead of crying out in the square with an arm wrapped around Whitney, he had been there to protect Ben. Even if that had meant both of them sitting on the sofa covered in bruises. 

Thinking this, Callum looked down at Ben’s hands for the first time and realised that they were completely clean. Returning his gaze to Ben’s face he went to ask why Ben had not protected himself but found that Ben had followed the line of his eyes and was looking down at his own hands.  
“I’m not ashamed Callum.” Was all he said. Softly and slowly with all the bravado gone from his voice. “I’m not ashamed.” He repeated and it struck Callum that this was the most genuine thing he had ever heard Ben say. It broke his heart. 

“I know but you could have died.” The fact was only now striking Callum. So far everything had been ok because yes, Ben had been hurt and it was horrible and yes, Ben wasn’t being his usual self but Callum was sure that would come back with time to heal. But that might not have been the case. He could have woken up to the news from Whitney that Ben had died. 

Struggling to breathe a little, Callum moved and sat on the coffee table so that he was facing Ben with their knees almost knocking together. 

“Oi, calm down.” Ben said although his words were more a gentle request than a sharp demand. “Hey.” He said again, a bit louder as Callum continued to pant. 

“I didn’t die ok, I’m alright…hey.” In the next moment, Ben’s uninjured hands were on Callum’s face, guiding his gaze back to Ben’s and anchoring him in the moment rather than in an alternate reality where Callum was rushing to visit Ben’s corpse rather than the living, breathing man sitting in front of him. 

Slowly and with Ben’s guidance, Callum’s breath returned to him and his thoughts lingered on the feel of Ben’s thumb stroking his jaw rather than images of Ben’s lifeless face. With a small smile at seeing Callum calmed down a little, Ben opened his mouth to say something but Callum got there first. 

“I need you to fight back next time.” Callum told him matter of factly. It was a fact. He needed Ben to be ok. Ben bit his tongue between his teeth and Callum could see a response more complicated than ok about to reach him so he grabbed Ben’s hands from his cheeks and held onto them tightly. 

“Ben listen to me; I need you to fight back next time.” Although Ben’s expression was conflicted, his fingers tightened around Callum’s hold. 

“It’s not that easy Callum.” He whispered, gentle and defeated once more and with eyes roaming anywhere but Callum. 

“It is to me.” Callum asserted once again, reaching his hand out gently to lift Ben’s chin and make the other man look at him. “Wherever it is, whoever it is, you fight back.” He instructed. Then, before he could overthink it, he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Ben’s forehead. 

There, with his lips pressed against Ben’s skin and his one hand held tightly between Ben’s and their knees pressed against each other and Ben’s breath on his neck, Callum felt a little less broken than he normally did.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the ending seems sudden, like I said at the top I'm not 100% sure where this fic came from because it's really different from what I had in my head but here it is anyway.


End file.
